Blohan

Blow . . . it does a body good.

From the mouth of insanity

Tom. Really now. How much more over the top can you possibly get?

I'm gonna eat the placenta, too. I thought that would be good. Very nutricious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there.

No word yet on whether alien placenta is compatible with the humanoid digestive tract.

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TomKitten watch continues

Scoffing in the face of the disbelieving public once again, Katie Holmes made yet another public appearance over the weekend with her 'bump'. This being the world's first alien birth, perhaps we've all been wrong in assuming that the gestation period is 9 months like normal humanoids.

Katie, I hope you have your specially made binky close!

Is that burning wax we smell?

Battle of the wax figure whores. Madam Tussaud's unveiled the latest in a long line of WTF wax figures, Lindsay Lohan. Someone in the display department deserves a big raise, because posing Hohan with Paris Hilton is genius!



"I'm more vapid."

"No, I am!"

Girls, girls. Quit fighting and eat something!

Shout out to our German fans, Hasselhoff style

Here at Celebrity Poo we just love our fans. We love fans' comments even more! Our very first comment came from the wonderful Chris of Germany. (You can see him at his own site Chriswab.)

You crazy Germans love you some David Hasselhoff, so here's some Hasselhoff love back atcha, Chris!

Greetings, fellow Thetans

We are sure it comes as no surprise that Celebrity Poo thinks Tom Cruise is shit-house rat crazy. Poor Katie Holmes got sucked into a Scientology vortex, never to escape its evil clutches. She is clearly brainwashed at this point . . . brainwashed enough to keep taking more creepy staged photos with the Little Man himself.

Sorry, Tommy, kissing and touching girls does not a straight man make!

She should be popping out that puppy any day now . . .

Statue-esque

What's with all the creepy celebrity statues? It caused us enough pain to be exposed to Britney Spear's vagina.



Now comes Cocaine Kate is some bizarro yoga pose. At least she's not showing her cooter!

High as a Kate

Here we have Hohan and Cocaine Kate Moss making an appearance together . . . somewhere. Quite frankly, we don't care what these two are doing. We know they're doing it high!

Paris Hilton can walk on water

Or, um, make that vomit.

Nothing says class like walking through a puddle of someone else's puke. Closing your eyes won't make it go away, Paris!

Congrats to Peter and Maggie

Congratulations are in order for Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal. They done got themselves prego and gotta get married to make the baby legit and all.

Peter Sarrrrrrrrsgaarrrrrrd! Yarr!

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Wee! I'm a mermaid!

I wear pigtails! I'm 5 years old!

Wee!

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Oh shut it, Mariah

Our (not so) favorite mermaid-weaved fake-tittied diva (lambs) had to go and feign concern for the Crack Pipe Diva formerly known as Whitney Houston. Poor Whit. Everyone knows her voice has been and always will be better than Mariah's (even after years of crack abuse).

My heart goes out to her, she's such an immense talent. I'm right there for her.

You'll be right there for her with some Twinkies and Ding Dongs.

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Celebrity Poo inaugural post

Welcome, fellow celebrity gossip lovers. If you love all things celebrity and pop culture related as much as we do, then you've found your home for the best celebrity news on the internet.

It is with no lack of irony thatour first post is about Lindsay Lohan. (And yes, we will be referring to her as Hohan. Deal with it.)

Hohan has gone back to red. It's about time. Now if only we could:

• Get her off the coke
• Add a good 20 pounds onto her skeleton
• Help her stop spreading for every Tom, Dick and Jared that comes along . . .

we might be on to something!

We'll save the tanning commentary for a photo that really accentuates our point.